I fully understand that my children only have one mother, and that’s me. It is my job to anticipate their needs and help them grow into mature adults. That is why there is hands down absolutely nothing else in this world I want my girls to know more than the fact that I love Jesus and that their parents desire to give their lives for Him. But the way they know that is by watching us actually DO that.
“Your marriage is not your own. Stop treating it like it is. You WILL destroy it if you continue to act as if it belongs only to you. Not because you necessarily want to, but you can’t help yourself apart from me. If you aren’t living for Me, you are only living for yourself. At any moment in your given life, if you aren’t living to glorify Me---you are striving for your own glory. Stop. Or you will destroy everything I have given you.”
When Harry Met Sally made the question famous, but it’s been one we’ve been throwing around for at least the last century. Society has changed; the days of men in the field and women in the kitchen are by and large distant memories. Today, men and women are side by side in just about every arena. Men and women do not just meet in order to get married and have babies, but are co-workers and equals in the business world. This has forced men and woman to learn how to interact with one another outside of romantic relationships.
So they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives. Yikes. When words and communication are kind of your thing, this is terrifying. So how do we do this? How do we respond when we aren’t getting what we want, even when what we want is a good thing (like a loving husband or a respectful wife)?
There has been some wonderful teaching and encouragement by outstanding theologians and pastors of our day on the subject of the role of women in the home and in the church and the practical out workings of Biblical Womanhood. Among other truths, the equal worth and standing before God of women and men, despite obvious physical and role differences, have been explained and defended biblically in theology textbooks, in seminary classrooms and from pulpits. Male headship and female submission in the context of marriage and male leadership in the church is not a popular platform to defend, but it is a biblical one and as a Christian woman, I’m extremely grateful to those who have done so.